“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

I don’t know about you, but I grew up in a household without many “options,” especially when it came to food. My mom is a great cook, but we ate the meal that was served. Period. There was no exchanging it for a corn dog, or eating a frozen pizza instead—if she made chicken casserole, we were going to eat chicken casserole. We never really even asked for something different, because we knew better. Even if it was our least favorite meal (which, for me was sausage and tomato gravy), if we wanted to eat, we were having that.

That’s why it makes me laugh so hard to now visit my mom’s house, and see my niece and nephew eating their chicken nuggets or cheese sandwiches while the rest of us eat steak, or gumbo, or spaghetti. My mom has totally softened up with the grandkids (as grandparents are supposed to do, I think), and they can choose from whatever she has in the pantry or fridge. “You want pancakes for a fifth meal in a row? Sure…no problem!” “You’d rather me throw some chicken nuggets in the microwave after I’ve spent ALL DAY making this soup? Absolutely!”

I think this shift in my mom’s thinking is due to several different factors (maybe raising us exhausted her, maybe it’s because she’s only responsible for a very small fraction of their meals, maybe it’s because she just keeps more of their food in their house, and maybe, just maybe, it’s because grandparents are supposed to say more “yes’s” than “no’s.” )

While I don’t think that my mom does this to try win the approval of her grandkids, I do think that she gets more approval (at least when it comes to meal time) from them then she did my brother or me when were that age. When you do what people want, and say yes all the time, you are naturally going to gain their approval.

And for me, this is a major struggle in my life, and a lesson that God has to teach me over and over again. I am a big-time people-pleaser. I like to say yes, I like to be helpful, and I want to be liked. And, while there is nothing inherently wrong with this, the issue comes when we are so focused on pleasing others that we lose ourselves, our health, and even sometimes our convictions.

The verse above from Galatians reminds us that it is our primary goal to be a servant of God. In fact, it goes so far as to say that if we are trying to please people, we aren’t serving God to our full capacity.

Does this mean we have to ignore the needs of others and spend all day locked in a room studying our Bible? Not at all! 1 John 4:8 reminds us that God is love. If we are a servant to God, then, and God is love, we will be living out love. God’s main commandments to us are to love Him, and then to love our neighbor. God wants us to love and serve and help others, but He also wants us to remember that we are primarily His. The decisions we make need to be based on what will make Him, not others, happy. The freedom in this is that we find that most of the time, the two line-up. When we are doing things to serve God, we end up loving our neighbor.

While there are definitely times that we find ourselves needing to say no in order to preserve our sabbath or sanity, or even just to be able to fully live out God’s primary calling in our lives, when we stop and think, that “no” is ultimately the most loving thing we can say. Living life with two masters is a stressful way to live, and not only that, but the Bible says it’s impossible. No one can have two different “number ones.” It just won’t work. But, if we can shift our focus on to God, and make sure we are living with Him, and not others, as our master, we will find much more enjoyment and freedom in the interactions we have with His children.