For International Day of Forgiveness: August 7, 2022

One of the most challenging commandments for me as a Christian minister is the call, both in the book of Genesis and later in the Gospel of Matthew in the New Testament, to forgive a sibling in Christ “seventy times seven.” Um, excuse me, Jesus? I like my grudges and my self-righteous attitude too much, thank you.

Can you relate? Can you, like me, be too much about holding onto resentment and bitterness in the name of being “right,” when being righteous—which is very different that just “being right”—actually asks us to put compassion, love and forgiveness of my fellow human beings before our own agendas.

It’s challenging, isn’t it? But even so, Christianity and many other faith traditions and moral systems call us to do hard things. Hard things like giving away our possessions to those in need; forgiving our neighbors, friends, colleagues, and family when they do us harm; even loving our enemies. It’s messy business.

I want to be clear: When mentioning the “seventy times seven” verse, I don’t think Jesus is calling us to accept abuse, injustice or oppression (and in almost all cases in scripture, he calls for the tearing down of those things). I don’t believe we are being asked to accept when others mistreat or exploit us or other human beings and creatures. Sometimes we have to set boundaries when harm is done, and to interrupt cycles of violence and abuse because to not do so would be to allow harm to be perpetuated. I don’t think we are called to forget when terrible things happen to us or to our fellow human beings, today or throughout history. Forgiveness, despite the popular phrase, is not actually about forgetting. In the words of author, lawyer and racial justice advocate Bryan Stevenson, it’s about believing that our fellow human beings are always more than the worst thing they are capable of doing.

Perhaps forgiveness is also meant to be for our own healing, especially during occasions when it is not possible or too difficult to have a conversation with a person who has wronged us or someone we love. Forgiveness, towards ourselves and others, can allow us to let go of questions or resentments that are eating at us; resentments or feelings that make us closed off from relationship. Perhaps forgiveness is an invitation to let go of unrealistic expectations we hold for ourselves or for others. Perhaps it is an invitation to remember once again that we are deeply loved, and are always more than our flaws and mistakes. Maybe learning to forgive ourselves for those mistakes allows us to forgive others, which makes God’s kingdom of love and mercy that much closer to earth.

What do you think? What does forgiveness mean to you? When have you experienced it, within yourself or between you and another person? Consider what you might let go of today; consider reminding yourself that you and others around you are doing their best to make it through each day. May you know that grace and love are always there to welcome and nurture you.

In peace,
Rev. Eva Englert-Jessen
Pastoral Care Director